HELP! We Tried To Mug Him!

A guy I knew was jumped the other day.

Three black guys came out of no where and tried to take his money. The usual Baltimore city special, except they fucked with the wrong retard.

Yes, my friends, there is definitely something wrong with this kid. And I'm not sure if it's God's way of protecting his most fragile creatures or the steroids in their medications, but retards sure are strong!

Lucky for him the US military didn't pick up on his gimpy walk or the fact he probably can't even point out Iraq on a map much less spell it, and made him a marine.

Mix retard strength with the killing power of a US marine, and you have Bitty.

Bitty, had brusies all over his body, giant welts that look like a gorilla beat him with a cast iron baseball bat. However, his face still had that shiny autistic grin on it, without a single scratch, or a single bruise on either of his mis-aligned cheek bones.

See, Bitty blocked his face through the entire ordeal. And somehow had them running for their lives before the end of it.

Now, I wasn't there for it (unfortunately), but the last dozen times I have seen him he was wearing the same shirt. Or, he has an entire closet full of shirts that say "LIFT OR DIE" in bold, size 600 font, on the front of them.

I'm not sure if these muggers could read, or if they didn't see his six foot wing span, AKA the width of his shoulders, but Bitty, retarded or not, is not a man to fuck with.

I'm pretty sure all three of those muggers picked up a few job applications that day.

Thanks for setting them straight Bitty!...