The Best/Worst/Drunkest Year of my Life

I lived with three girls for a year. Probably the most confusing, exciting, and drunk year of my life.

When I was renting a house out for what should have been my junior year of college I decided to change things up a bit. I had always lived with guys. Guys that were disgusting, lacking self esteem, and pretty much just smoked a lot of pot.

I figured girls were different. And if they weren't I could at least alleviate some of the stress by having sex with them.

So, I went on my school's website, clicked on the housing section and found tons of students looking for places to live for the year. I, one by one, facebooked the entire list and arranged them by physical appearance. Screw you, if you think I am shallow. I am going to have to look at my roommates and see their stupid faces for an entire year. I want them to be easy on the eyes.

I finally selected two and went with it. The third was a referral from a girl I hooked up with in D.C. She sounded energetic on the phone, but when I saw her facebook profile picture I immediately purchased a separate fridge to put my food in. I stuck her in the basement and the other two girls upstairs with me. I took the master because I'm stronger than them and I really left them no choice.

At first it was great. We all got drunk together, I hooked up with one, ended up fucking the other. And let me tell you, there is nothing better than being about to beat off. Looking at the room across the hall. Knocking on the door, and immediately be greeted with a "want to fuck?".

Then things got complicated. A love triangle formed.

The one I was fucking started to "have feelings for me"
The one I wasn't fucking started to "have feelings for me"
I had "feelings" (or as I like to call it, my moment of weakness) for the latter bitch

I guess that is less of a triangle and more of a poorly designed bi-pod, but I digress.

However, human nature is what it is. As soon as I broke things off with the girl I was fucking (let's call her Jess) to be with the girl I was not fucking (let's call her Bertha, only because I currently hate her) she started to act weird. She did not want a relationship or sex and the only time I could have fucked her ended with me being a nice guy and we all know how that story goes (hint: last place).

DUMB.

So Jess ends up punching a wall, and I end up taking her to the ER, and my fucktastic time is over. Bertha (don't let the fake name fool you, she was pretty hot) ruined one of the greatest things I had going for me. I had gotten to a point where masturbation was obsolete, but she had to be a jealous twat. Don't get me wrong, I love it when girls fight over me, but all I was left with in the end was a hole in my wall, and a giant pair of blue balls.

I hope she contracts guanherpesiphaids (A combination of the STDs guanaria, herpes, siphallis and aids)