Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day

The closest thing I have to kids end up inside a sock, condom, or flushed down a toilet. But I figured one day I might accidentally knock a girl up, she'll be pro-life, and I'll end up with a few crumb snatchers of my own... So, I would like to take this opportunity to write them a letter that I hope to god they never see!

Dear product of unprotected sex and too much scotch,

Son, lucky for you your mother was catholic! Yay!

I cant wait to show you all of the essential skills of life and manhood. Like how to talk to a woman, cook the perfect steak, and shave with a straight razor.

Duces,
Your future father

God forbid I have a girl, there are too many guys like me out there...

4 comments:

  1. Happy father's Day to you! i Really like your post! keep it Up!
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  2. sometime the occasional kids may end up on some nice young ladies face. She's a keeper eh.

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  3. I think we should all take it upon ourselves to notify CPS the minute you become a father.

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  4. I'm not ever having a kid if my 300 dollars has any say at all! Don't you worry.

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