A Eulogy for a Friendship

Friendships are too loosely defined. Too be honest. I have no answer either.

I can not define a friendship.

For it is just a trust. But what I shared with him was something beyond trust. And keep your gay jokes to yourself, I've heard them all, I'm straight. If you do not believe me read my other posts.

It has been a few weeks now, and I have yet to really see him. This has happened before, where he finds something else that strikes his interest, spends somewhat of a hiatus from me, and then is back and it's almost like a bookmark was placed right where he left.

I can not explain what exactly brings us back together and pushes us apart, for we have never even had an argument much less a lasting disagreement, but I do not really question him when he disappears.

This time just seems different though. Going from talking everyday to a strangely cold "hello" when I call, is a hard transition. I was the yin and he was the yang, we spent every waking moment together for the past year, and when we werent in immediate sight of each other we were on the phone or texting. We got to the point where I could read his thoughts, talking was almost obsolete.

I spent some of the most thrilling and fulling moments of my life with him, and I had never been so broke or out of luck.

He says he has found a greater happiness, and I would not understand. He is probably right. I break life into simple equations and fill those equations with the varibles that fit. He looks for a deeper meaning that he can only understand.

I'm writing this feeling deeply upset. For so many reasons I can not explain. There are so many holes in my life that are left unfilled and there is nobody that will ever be able to fill every nook of those empty spaces.

For he was my other half. And although I am writing this wishing I still had him as much apart of my life as it was.

I am also hoping he never reads this.

For he is happy, and that is all I want. I just hope that somehow I changed his life for the better, and he knows that he was the biggest influence of my life.

"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies."
- Aristotle