He loves me, he loves me not...

Fair warning:
In high school I was, put nicely... an enormous loser... I dated a girl, just because she was attractive and showed interest in me for four years straight, and I got shit on every second of those 1,460 days. Those sort of extremes create complexes, and yes I see myself as somewhat jaded, but I prefer "experienced".

Now that you know how big your grain of salt needs to be, continue reading...

Relationships happen for all the wrong reasons. Why do you think the divorce rate in this country is so high? I understand the human need for companionship, that makes perfect sense, however the same emotions that drive people toward wanting companionship also puts a choke hold on every healthy relationship in America.

To understand why relationships fail or succeed, you have to first look at what a relationship is.

Fire up dictionary.com and you will get this definition:

re·la·tion·ship   
[ri-ley-shuhn-ship] Show IPA
–noun
1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.

Let us dig a bit deeper...

Why do people get into relationships? Figure that out, and you will have your answer...

I've done my research, and I think I have the answer, it rhymes with: People are afraid to be alone...

And for this reason, again put nicely, people settle. People get into relationships, and because that person fills the oh-so complex need of companionship your brain releases endorphins when you are close to that person. You mistake that feeling for what the academics term "love". Next step is marriage, and that is what I term "too late". You figured out that you have been tricked by your emotions.

Don't believe me? Good.

Think about the last boyfriend you had, not the person you are currently dating, but the one before that. Do the butterflies feel different? Probably not. People stop dating one person and start dating another because they discover a fundamental flaw(s) with that person. Or in ladder theory terms, you found someone better.

The people that always seem to sport the relationships that crash harder and faster than the stock market in 1987 are the same people that have the most "I am afraid to be alone" feelings.

My favorite character, is the girl that gets in and out of relationships all the time. You always see the little heart popping up next to their name on your news feed. Susie is in a relationship with douche bag #34, Susie ended her relationship with douche bag #34, Susie is in a relationship with douche bag #35, Susie ended her relationship with douche bag #35... you get the point.

The problem is that this insane skitzo (aka - girl) is afraid to be alone, is more inclined to settle, and I'd bet a handsome sum that she is probably insecure as well...

It was my roommate that brought me this lovely piece of sage wisdom:

"If you can't love yourself, then you can't be in love with other people"

This girl is a genius, and she is absolutely right, as most genius's are.

If you are scared to be alone, and just lock down the first guy you see walking down the street, that relationship is probably not going to end up being the next Disney film.

ANY guy in the world can fill the need of companionship, and every guy that plays his cards right at all, can extract those feelings from a girl. That does not mean that guy is right for that girl. The tables can turn both ways, but girls are typically more emotional than guys are, and that amplifies the feeling in women, hence why girls think they are dicked over by guys so much...

I should have been a psychology major...